Ep #38: High Hope vs. Low Hope

By: Dr. Sherry Price
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Drink Less Lifestyle with Dr. Sherry Price | High Hope vs. Low Hope

How would you rate your level of hope?

Would you rate yourself as someone who has a high level of hope, or someone who has a low level of hope?

Did you know there is a difference?

Actually, there is a BIG difference.

In fact, it makes ALL the difference.

Join me for today’s episode where I’m discussing hope in a new way – in a way you haven’t heard it before.  I’m also pointing out the big key differences between those who have high hope and those who don’t.  The differences are striking, and it matters when it comes to achieving your goals, especially with your drinking.

Trust me friends, you don’t want to miss this episode!

Are you ready to love your life so much that you don’t even want to drink?  If so, I invite you to join my Drink Less Lifestyle program.  Click here to apply.

You can download my free guide How to Effectively Break the Overdrinking Habit.

If you’re loving this podcast, I’d love to hear from you!  Please rate and review this podcast and help others discover their Drink Less Lifestyle.

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

  •  Thinking about hope differently
  • High hope vs. low hope individuals and why it matters
  • How to implement these steps to get success

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Drink Less Lifestyle Podcast with Dr. Sherry Price, episode number 38.

Welcome to Drink Less Lifestyle, a podcast for successful women who want to change their relationship with alcohol. If you want to drink less, feel healthier and start loving life again you’re in the right place. Please remember that the information in this podcast does not constitute medical advice. Now, here’s your host, Dr. Sherry Price.

Well, hello friends, so glad that you joined me today. So to get ready for this podcast I’ve been doing some research on this topic. And I have to tell you that I am super, super excited about this topic. But before I begin I want to ask you a favor. If you are loving this podcast I would love it if you would leave me a review on iTunes. So rate the podcast and write a review and I would be greatly appreciative for that. It really helps others find this podcast. And I think this message is so important to get out to others. It really, really is my mission.

Alright so with that I want to dive in on this topic today. And here’s what I want to say is that if you’re not driving and you’re not busy doing something else I think you’re going to want to grab a pen and paper because you’re going to want to take notes. I suggest even that you listen to this podcast back several times because what is in here is gold. It is that good that you’re going to want to remember it. You’re going to want to come back to it. And you’re going to want to practice it.

So here we go my friends. We are going to be talking about hope today. Yes, hope. So this is not your normal discussion on hope. We are not going to be talking about hope as the emotion of hope because we know people feel hope then they feel hopeless. Those are emotional terms. And yes, we might touch on that just a bit. But we’re going to be considering a new definition of hope and this will make more sense as I go into the details.

So the definition of hope for today’s podcast is the process of thinking about one’s goals along with the motivation to move towards those goals, their agency and ways to achieve those goals. So I want to break down this definition a little bit. First of all we’re not talking just plain old hope as an emotion. Rather, this definition we are talking about hope as a dynamic, cognitive, motivational system. Yes, that’s a mouthful.

But it’s really important because we’re going to dive down deeper into the characteristics of people who have lots of hope versus people who don’t have lots of hope. And the difference that this makes in their life, it is dramatic. So I’m just going to repeat that over again just a bit. So we know that our emotions follow cognition, that’s our thinking. Thinking leads to our feelings and that’s not the type of hope we will be talking about on this episode. So we’re talking about that dynamic, that changing cognitive motivational system.

It’s basically that internal sense that you can get something and accomplish it. So let me just go back to the definition and break down that definition a bit more. So it’s the process of thinking about one’s goals. So you set out to achieve something whether that’s lose weight, stop drinking, get more money, whatever it is, get a job. And in that definition it also says along with the motivation to move towards those goals. And that’s defined as agency.

So I did a previous podcast that is called developing agency. It’s number 21 if you want to go back and listen to it. And it’s talking about if you have that high internal locus of control, that you like to be in charge of things, that you could be in charge of things, that you know that you have this high sense of agency to get something done. And what high agency means is that you have motivation to get those goals done.

And then the last part of the definition of hope that we’re using today are ways to achieve those goals. So when we talk about ways to achieve those goals now we’re talking about the actual tactics, the strategies, the pathways. So you’re going to hear me use pathways a lot and strategies, and tactics. So this comprehensive definition of this dynamic motivational system is really looking at the goal, having the sense of agency to get it as well as the tactics and pathways to achieve that goal.

And this is so good my friends because when you have these three components I see that women get to the goal of drinking less or stopping drinking altogether. I also see them go on to achieve other things like weight loss and do amazing things in their businesses. And when women learn these strategies in my program they are on fire. It’s like, “Wow, Sherry, you taught me so many tools that now I just cannot believe how good my life got.”

And we’re going to come back to this concept because what we’re told a lot is just to set the goal and that’s enough. And it’s not. It’s not enough. How many of us set goals and we don’t actually attain them? So that’s why I’m fired up about this topic so much today because it really is the definition that we all want. It’s what we want and what we need to achieve the exact goals that we set out for ourselves because we need the tactics along the way. We need the strategy. We need the plan. And we need to know that we can achieve it. We have that sense of agency.

Now, at this point I want to point out that our definition of hope is not the same thing as optimism. And that’s what some of you might be hearing, “Just be optimistic, that’s where motivation comes from.” And I want to say that there’s a lot out on positive psychology and a lot of it is helpful. But I run into people all the time who have been damaged by positive psychology. They think they need to walk around with positive mantras and they need to be happy all the time. But you know what? We cannot be happy all the time. I did a podcast on that.

And why positive psychology might be damaging to some of us is because then we think we should be happy all the time. We’re entitled to it. So if I’m not feeling happy how can I get there? And that’s where a lot of us turn to food. We turn to alcohol. We turn to drugs, pornography, gambling, all the things because we’re like, “Wait a second, I’m not feeling happy. And the world tells me I should be happy all the time or at least most of the time.”

So while there are aspects of positive psychology that I do endorse and I do like I don’t think positive psychology is the answer to everything. And I’ve seen it be psychologically damaging to a lot of people because think about it, if you can’t learn to be with negative emotion you’re always going to want to escape yourself. And you’re not going to be able to process negative emotion. And that is a skill the body and brain need to learn. It’s really part of the game of life.

We know bad things are going to happen. We know sad times are going to come about us. We know that that is part of the journey of life. And if we treat some of our emotions as good and some of them as bad and unwanted then we’re going to set ourselves up for other ailments, other addictions, other ways of coping and escaping this reality of life.

Alright, so coming back to optimism, when somebody is optimistic they have an overall sense that things will work out, that things will turn out as they want. But they don’t necessarily know the process by which that will happen. So they just trust that it will work out but there’s no real tactic to a well defined goal. So having a lot of hope is not the same thing as somebody who’s optimistic. I think many of us are optimistic about our futures.

We think I’ll lose weight some day, or I’ll get this drinking thing under control, or I’ll stop drinking. But here’s the thing, we don’t have a tactic to a well defined goal and that’s the piece we miss. I equate it to like wishful thinking, yeah, I’m hopeful as in the emotion. Yeah, I’m hopeful I will get over this one day. And that could be optimistic feeling and have that hopeful feeling but the details are missing. It’s like magic wand thinking. It’s like fairy dust, we just wait for the fairy dust to change things and then we will change.

And I’m not saying being optimistic is a bad thing, it’s just not the full story. It’s not the whole picture. And when you have the whole picture, guess what happens? You actually achieve the goals and you achieve them much quicker than somebody who doesn’t have the tactics or the pathway to get there. So in looking at this definition of hope I want to break it down into two categories and that’s really high hope individuals and their characteristics. And those who are classified as low hope individuals and their characteristics because here’s what the research shows.

If you are a high hope individual you have a greater likelihood of actually achieving the goal than somebody who has low hope. So essentially we are looking at how somebody is wired, what they believe about themselves, and their capabilities, and seeking solutions and pathways to get to their goals. So it’s not that the goal itself produces a behavior but rather the person’s point of view of themselves as being agents capable of initiating change and implementing the actions they need to do in order to pursue their personal goal. This is the definition of a high hope person.

And this is hugely relevant to cutting back on drinking or stopping altogether because I see this constantly where women set goals on how much to drink or how much they’re not going to drink and then they don’t follow through. And what’s sad to me is that they keep asking, “Why does this keep happening? Why do I keep overdrinking?” And here’s how I commonly see it show up.

So many plans to have alcohol free days, maybe they want a stretch of them, maybe they want a month of them, maybe they want to go longer. Or they put in other parameters like no alcohol during the week and I get to have some on the weekend, but maybe no more than three each weekend night. Great, the goal has been established. But remember, it’s not the goal that produces the behavior, it’s more than that. It’s not just being optimistic and trusting that it’s going to happen. And that’s what so many of us do and it’s actually what I did for years.

I just thought I had to set a smart goal, that’s all I had to do to get there. You know why I thought that? Because we’re such a goal focused society and of course we’re programmed to want things and then go after them and get them and that is beautiful. But we also need the other components of the definition of hope. And I really want to remind you of this because what I don’t want you to do is just set a goal and when you fail and just wonder why you keep failing and thinking I’m not doing it right, because you need more than just the goal.

And of course this is one component that we work on in the Drink Less Lifestyle program. I work with every woman individually and we set their individual goal. And if you ask me, goal setting is actually the fun part. We know what we want. We allow ourselves to dream it, and create it, and think about it, and desire and wanting is a beautiful thing. It motivates you. It keeps you learning and growing, and even adapting in life. It causes change in our life which is a beautiful thing to embrace.

Whereas I think not wanting keeps us stuck in the status quo. I don’t want to change. I don’t want to make things different. And it doesn’t feel like growth. It doesn’t feel like we’re progressing in our skills and up-leveling our life to the fullest that we can. So it’s not to say that goal setting isn’t important, it is, it’s just one piece of the puzzle. You also need agency which I’ve talked about in a previous podcast, that I can do it and I know how to do it. It’s also the pathway to get there.

And that’s what we talk about inside my program, the pathway to get there because here’s the thing, you just don’t have some of the skills that you need in order to be successful.

So I want to dive into the characteristics that make up a high hope person versus those that make up a low hope person. And you’ll notice some of the principles overlap but let’s dive in.

So looking at individuals who have high hope, we see that they have clearly stated goals. So we know goal setting is a piece of the puzzle but they’re clearly stated. They can conceptualize them. They see themselves as having the goal. So they know exactly what type of relationship they want to have with alcohol. And it’s so important to know this because what I hear a lot of people before they fully commit is like, “I just want to cut back.” Well, what does cutting back look like? What does that relationship look like to you?

Are you allowing some for fun? Are you allowing some on weekends? Are you allowing some during the week? When do you allow it? Why do you allow it? Really identify and crystallize in your mind what relationship you want to have with drinking. Some people don’t want any relationship with it. They just don’t want to do it again. Great, but you have to identify what that is for you. Some people choose to say, “I want to have a drink or two every now and then.” So we begin the process of clarifying for them, what does that look like?

People with high hope also have the characteristic that they can conceive many strategies to reach their goals. There are dozens upon dozens of tools in my program that can help you achieve your goals. And so need to find which strategies work for you. What’s the tactic, what’s the pathway that’s going to work for you? And it’s about having the persistence to keep trying what works and noticing what doesn’t work. We all have different brains. We all operate differently. Some of us are triggered by something. Some of us have different triggers than that.

So we really need to identify what works for ourselves. And that goes into the next point. They set stretch goals or learning goals. People with high hope seek growth over comfort. So last week I was just asking the ladies inside my program, “Do you set a drink plan that makes you feel proud or one that makes you feel good?” Because there is a difference, and some people were mentioning good, some people were mentioning proud. But just think about it. When did you want a drink plan that made you feel proud? Doesn’t that feel more amazing?

Because when you make one that feels good you might not be stretching yourself so much. And here’s the thing, when you stretch yourself that’s when you really change the patterning of the brain. You really start rewiring your relationship between your brain and the alcohol. And that’s what you’re here for. So high hope people actually seek out stretch goals.

Here’s another characteristic is that they plan for obstacles. They have contingency planning. They know that when something is difficult they know exactly other strategies to take to keep them on track. And I think this is so key because you need various tools for various settings and situations to set yourself up for success. Some of my clients are so good with their consumption of alcohol at home but then they worry when they get out into a social situation.

I hear things like, “There’s just so much alcohol around at the party”, or, “Everybody else was drinking and I just don’t know why I didn’t stick to my plan. It’s just too hard.” And here is the thing. They’re not planning for the obstacles. So once they go through the modules about planning for obstacles.

I was coaching actually a client just last week on this because she didn’t want to make a plan for her obstacles. And we had to look at why that was. She was so afraid of failing again that she just didn’t even want to make a plan, which meant she was setting herself up for failure ahead of time. And it was so interesting because had I not coached her hard on that I don’t think she would have been successful. And after the coaching she did the event totally successful. She understood what the obstacle was in the way and how to overcome it.

Because ladies, I don’t let you just sweep it under the rug. We can’t ignore it. We can’t stick our head in the sand. We can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist. You will make no progress that way. And here’s the beautiful thing, when the brain and the mind start to actually conceptualize it, it’s no longer as scary as we initially had thought it was going to be.

Another characteristic of high hope individuals is that they focus on their thinking and not the behavior. Just think of the example of a marathon runner. They are not focusing on mile 26. They are not focusing on the behavior of just keep your legs running, just keep your feet going. That’s the behavior. What they’re focused on is on their mindset, getting to the next mile. Let me just get to the next mile marker. Let me just get to the next tree. Let me just get to the next thing that I see on my path. It’s their thinking that they’re focusing on, not the actual behavior of running.

And this is where I see a lot of people initially go wrong. They’re just focusing on the drink. They’re not focusing on what they should be focusing on. Remember back to episode number one, it’s not a drinking problem. It’s a thinking problem. And I could say this till I’m blue in the face. And I still find that people think it’s a drinking problem. But if you look at the modalities that are successful at breaking up with alcohol, it is not focusing on more alcohol.

Another characteristic to high hope individuals is that they track their progress. They want to measure and see their success. They’re not afraid of the data. They get radically honest with themselves. They know how much they drink. They know what environments trigger them. They know what all of the things that lead to overdrinking. They know every detail about it.

It’s just like with weight loss. If we didn’t know why we overate, and we never looked at the scale and we never measured things, and we never looked at our food, and we never followed a food plan. And we never thought about it, if we just buried our heads in the sand, guess what? We can never understand how our body reacts to food. What foods does it like? What foods doesn’t it like? What foods cause it to retain weight? What foods allow it to lose weight naturally? What foods satiate us? What foods are enjoyable to us?

And how could we have a relationship around food that we actually can do as a lifestyle? The same thing with drinking, some people are ready to hang up drinking forever, but I find the people that I attract, they still want alcohol in their lives. So let’s look at how to make that happen without the negative consequences. How can we get the ideal relationship and let’s measure that progress, let’s track it. And let me tell you, the people that are willing to look at it and track it, and get radically honest, they get results, hands down.

We’re not making anything mean shame, or embarrassment, or failure, none of that. Even if it’s just one night we need to look at what worked that one night. We need to understand it and then we build on it. Once you know what starts to work it is so important because then you can start getting more success.

And here’s the beautiful thing about high hope characteristics is that it’s been shown to lead to better mental health. Individuals with high hope, they are less anxious, have less depression and they are less likely to have self-deprecating thoughts and negative self-talk. I mean that is awesome. Who wouldn’t want better mental health?

Because we know anxiety has skyrocketed this past year, the brain has seen so much wrong, so much fear and it’s just perpetuating these negative cycle of emotions that many of us don’t know how to process. We don’t know how to deal with them which of course is leading to an increase in drinking.

So as you can imagine we’re going to go into the characteristics of low hope individuals. And of course they will be different, the exact opposite of the high hope individuals. So first and foremost they are ambiguous or uncertain about their goals. And as I mentioned, I see this a lot. I’m going to be alcohol free. Well, for how many days, and then after those days then what?

I do Whole30 for 30 days and I didn’t have any alcohol and then what? There’s no plan. And maybe the whole time they just worked on their relationship with food but they didn’t do any work on their relationship with alcohol. So when the 30 days ends guess what happens? They go right back to their same patterning of drinking. No surprise. But if they’re clear on their goals and they work on the relationship along the way, and they learn the tools, and the skills to do this, and have the path then they’re more likely to be successful.

The next characteristic of low hope people is that they do rote level processing. Rote, just like memorization, so they do things based on memory. So when I’m with these friends I always over-drink, that’s just their past speaking. That’s just their memory saying, “I’ve always been this way around this set of friends.” Or when I go out with my husband I always overdo it. Or when we go to this decadent restaurant I need to do all the food pairings and wine pairings. And of course I always overdo it.

Or when it’s girls’ night out, or when I’m out with my friends, or when my friends come over I just check out and the drinks just go unnoticed because I don’t want to do the work. I don’t want to think about anything. When that happens your brain just goes on rote memory. I call it autopilot, the habit brain. Just keep going doing the same old, same old. That’s that rote level processing. You haven’t taught your brain new skills. You haven’t taught your brain how to operate differently.

And here’s how I see it come up. I see it posted in the free Facebook page, “I don’t know why I keep overdrinking. I don’t know why this happens.” And here’s the thing, I see this happen with the women in my program and it’s not a problem. We identify where they went off track. We identify what their obstacle was and we get back on track and we take agency. And we start implementing the tactics so we don’t lose any ground.

And I tell them all the time, “This is going to happen. This is going to make you stronger if you learn how to recover from it. If you learn that a slipup doesn’t mean a downward spiral.” Of course as you’re learning new tools and new techniques this is expected to happen, your training wheels are still on. And the more times you practice doing this, guess what? It becomes as natural as signing your name. So if you do have a slipup in the future, no big deal. You don’t make it mean anything, no shame, no embarrassment, you just like, “Hey.”

And when it becomes that natural, guess what starts to happen? The slipups get less and less because what happens if you have rote level processing, you give up. You give up, it might be days, it might be weeks, heck, it might be months that go by. But you know what happens? You always come back to wanting the goal again. You always come back to saying, “Yeah, I want to be a different drinker. Yeah, I want a different relationship with alcohol.”

And here’s the thing, you try again. And when you try again you use the same strategy without any new skills because you didn’t learn anything new from the failure in the past. You just made it mean that you failed when that’s not actually the case. And so that starting and stopping, and starting and stopping, that starts to really lower your self-confidence and lower your self-esteem. And it also delays getting to the goal, getting to the place that you want to be, which leads into the next characteristic that you become fixated on the same tactic, and the same pathway.

Well, I’m just going to try to be alcohol free again. I see this over and over. And like I said before, having a goal is great. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have alcohol free days but you’re missing the other components of the puzzle when you just focus on the goal. And when you keep trying like I did and you just keep trying to go for the rules or the alcohol free days and it really doesn’t work long term, and I spent years, and years, and years doing the same two tactics, guess what? No new learning took place for me.

And when no new learning has taken place, you try it again. And then guess what? If you don’t make your goal you just become more and more frustrated the longer this goes on, the longer this cycle goes on. And you begin to lack trust in the process. It’s like you almost give up the motion of hope. You’re like, “Why even try? It’s not going to work.”

The next characteristic of someone with low hope is that they focus on distractions and tasks in order to change their thinking. And I see this come up where people will say, “Well, I’ll just use yoga or I’ll just go for a walk and that way I won’t drink during five to six”, or whatever my witching hour is. And while that is great, doing yoga is wonderful; going for a walk is wonderful.

But what happens when it’s not nice out, when it’s not summer, when you can’t do a walk or when you don’t feel like doing yoga? And does it actually change your relationship with alcohol? It works if you just want to avoid alcohol. But I don’t think a lot of us want to just avoid it. I think we want to learn to be around it where it doesn’t tempt us, where other people can drink and we can be okay, where our husbands can drink and we are fine, we don’t need to join in. Our friends can drink and we may choose one while they choose a whole bottle. Great.

Because people come together around food and alcohol, it is a reason to meet up with others. And it’s not to say when you meet up with them you have to overeat, or over-drink, or even drink alcohol. But I don’t think the strategy is to avoid alcohol at all costs, at least not for the women I work with. They want to be around it and feel confident, and in control, and just love their life. They don’t want their joy to come from the alcohol. They want to have joy without needing the alcohol, without even wanting the alcohol. And that’s what I help them create.

Another characteristic, they have no idea if they’re making progress. They’re just going along, going along and they’re not tracking anything. They don’t want to see the data. They’re just like, “Yeah, I’m good. I’m good.” And this is really interesting to me because they’ll stop drinking and then they’ll wonder why they aren’t feeling better. Now, I get it, it takes some days and sometimes weeks for the alcohol to come out of the system and the body to reregulate or achieve a new homeostasis.

But even if they’re going on after a month and they’re not feeling better about their lives or better about themselves, right now they’ve just taken away the alcohol, which the alcohol used to be able to help them feel better about themselves, used to numb things that they didn’t like. So when you change your relationship with alcohol you also have to be looking at is my life what I want it to be? And if the answer is no it’s going to be really hard to change your relationship with alcohol.

So that’s why we’re working on changing your life in my program, one that you love, one that’s amazing to you because if your life is miserable and the only thing you really enjoy about it is drinking and then you take away the alcohol. And then a month or two later you’re not feeling better, well that’s why. So it’s not only just tracking the progress on your relationship with alcohol. But it’s also how is my life, how does it need to change or improve for me to enjoy it more? Or how could I enjoy my current life more? Maybe I want to, I just don’t know how.

And the last characteristic I’m going to dive into, I didn’t mention in the high hope category because I wanted to compare and contrast them side-by-side here. So for low hope individuals they are externally motivated. Now, it’s not terrible to be externally motivated, it’s just not long lasting. And it’s not as powerful as being intrinsically or internally motivated as high hope individuals are.

So externally motivated people, you can gather this when people want support or want to be held accountable from others around them. Again, not a bad thing but if it’s the thing that’s driving the behavior, that’s driving the change necessarily won’t be sustainable long term.

So you’ll hear this in women. They just say, “I just want my husband and my kids to notice how much I’m working hard on this.” Or, “I just want somebody to acknowledge me and all the hard work I’m doing.” Or, “I just want my spouse to support me and not jump down my throat if I overdo it one night.” Or, “I just wish my kids would understand and then I could see my grandkids.” So you could see they have that energy of negativity. They just want to be externally validated and that would externally motivate them. That’s exactly why they’re seeking it.

And again, while that’s not bad, it’s just not going to help them through the hard times. If they’re internally motivated and they’re intrinsically motivated they start seeking their own approval. That matters more to them than others around them. And when you’re internally motivated, when you’re intrinsically motivated you’re more willing to do hard things. It’s not about doing it for somebody else. It’s, I want to be the best version of me. I want to show up with more energy. I want more aliveness in my life.

I want more true happiness and not this false happiness that I feel kind of numbed out but I’m really not that excited about my life. I even see this in women who have experienced loss. Maybe they have lost a child, or a parent, or a spouse. And they say, “My child would want more from me. My spouse would want more from me. My parent would want more from me.” And it’s almost leading them to more guilt, and shame, and hence actually I think it causes more drinking. And I just think that’s a lot of guilt and a lot of shame.

And honestly go intrinsically. What do you want for you? And when I find women are intrinsically motivated they set higher self-standards and they are more energized to achieve them. It’s like the motivation lasts longer. And they don’t always have to be in a good mood to actually carry out their plan.

So I want you to notice that the characteristics that I mentioned are independent of being optimistic. They’re independent of optimism. And I will tell you, they are not correlated reliably with IQ or self-consciousness which makes total sense to me because I would say to myself all the time when I was an over-drinker, “I’m smart, I’m educated. How many degrees does it take to figure this out because I’ve got a lot of degrees?” And it made me feel like not a success. I’m a healthcare practitioner. I know this chemical of alcohol is dangerous and toxic to my body. Why do I keep doing this?

I found it so enlightening to my journey is that it just wasn’t about setting the goal. High hope goes beyond the goal setting and it also includes agency, self-efficacy as well as having the right path. And these are the tools that we practice inside Drink Less Lifestyle.

So I want to point out as we’re getting close to close on this topic is that high hope people, they embrace learning goals. They are learning oriented whereas low hope people embrace performance goals and they are performance oriented. And you can see this when they think I’m only happy if I get to my goal. I can’t be happy along the way. And that is not the way we operate in Drink Less Lifestyle.

We are having fun as we’re cutting back. We’re getting to our goals. We are enjoying the process of cutting back because if you don’t enjoy the process your brain’s not going to want to do it. And I get where we learn this. Just think about the school system. We’re told to get the grade. We’re told to get the marks, the GPA. We’re told to get all the good grades, the gold stars, the accolades. And we’re told to seek approval from our teachers and our bosses.

We are a society fixated on goals and performance goals. We’re always about achieving and getting the performance. Did we perform? How did we perform? Was it an A+? Was it a gold star? Were you the one to make the goal on the soccer field? Were you the one to hit the home run or get somebody on base? We’re always looking for that performance goal.

And I find this process is different. It’s more about the learning goals. What have you learned along the way? Are you enjoying the journey? Are you changing the relationship with alcohol as a lifestyle? Are you improving your life along the way? Is your life getting better, because if not you’re going to want to return to drinking.

And this was a huge development for me on my journey, developing agency, the skills on my path, honing my tactics and strategies over time, knowing what works for me and what doesn’t. And getting these meta cognitive skills that you can solidify so that you can have the life you want. What’s so fun now is I get to teach them to my daughter so she becomes a high hope person, just like I taught myself these skills to become a high hope person.

And as the saying goes, you can teach an old dog new tricks, thankfully. Thankfully our brains aren’t fixed. Thankfully we can learn new things otherwise overdrinking would be a lifelong problem. And you know I firmly believe it doesn’t have to be a chronic disease at all, once you learn the tools and the skills because it’s not a lifelong disease. It’s a problem that can be solved with the right path.

Alright ladies, I hope you took lots of notes. Please listen to this podcast again. I think there are so many critical steps here that you can really improve your success. And if you want my help with these steps, come on and join me inside Drink Less Lifestyle where you can learn the tools and get my help there. Because I want you to love your life so much that you don’t even want to drink anymore, where you are in love with your lifestyle and your relationship around alcohol.

Alright ladies until next week, cheers.

Thanks for listening to Drink Less Lifestyle. If you’re ready to change your relationship with drinking now check out the free guide, How to Effectively Break the Overdrinking Habit at sherryprice.com/startnow. See you next week.

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