Ep #28: Handling Fear

By: Dr. Sherry Price
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Drink Less Lifestyle with Dr. Sherry Price | Handling Fear

What’s holding you back from changing your relationship with alcohol?

The one thing that gets in the way of achieving the relationship you want with alcohol is fear. Here’s the thing: we think that fear is bad, but the truth is that fear is just an emotion.  It doesn’t have to mean anything negative, and we can learn how best to manage so it doesn’t stop us from achieving our goals.

Research shows that when we experience fear, we spend a lot of time dreading what might happen when the actual event is never as bad as we anticipate. That’s just fear talking, and we can think of it as fear just doing its job.

Join me in this episode so you can learn how to change your perspective of fear and learn to handle it more effectively. The pandemic has created a more heightened sense of fear, but you can understand how to overcome the fear cycle and get the drink less lifestyle you want.

Are you ready to change your relationship with alcohol and get control of your drinking? My Drink Less Lifestyle program gives you the tools you need to become a woman who can take it or leave it with alcohol. Click here to apply.

Also, check out my free guide How to Effectively Break the Overdrinking Habit.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How to not let fear hold you back .
  • Some fears I have overcome in my life.
  • How to use fear as you move towards your goals.
  • Why fear comes up and what to do about it.

Featured on the Show:

  • Did you know I launched an online course on How To Get Your Off Button Back? It’s amazing and it teaches you the 5 key pillars to stop overdrinking and have your off button again. Click here for more details.
  • Join my private Facebook group Stop the Overdrinking Habit
  • Follow me on Instagram
  • My Drink Less Lifestyle Program
  • If you have any questions or topic suggestions for future podcasts, contact me via Instagram
  • Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
  • Click here for a simple exercise that will help you get clear on your fears to living a drink less lifestyle.

Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Drink Less Lifestyle Podcast with Dr. Sherry Price, episode number 28.

Welcome to Drink Less Lifestyle, a podcast for successful women who want to change their relationship with alcohol. If you want to drink less, feel healthier and start loving life again you’re in the right place. Please remember that the information in this podcast does not constitute medical advice. Now, here’s your host, Dr. Sherry Price.

Well, hello my friends. Welcome into the podcast. If you are new here I’m so happy that you decided to join me today. And if you are not new and you’ve been here before I’m thrilled that you are here too. I want to start off the podcast today to say that I am so, so amazed and proud of the ladies in my Stop the Overdrinking Habit Facebook page. You ladies inspire me.

I have to give a special shout out to Bridget in the group. She’s been posting every day about her journey to enjoy alcohol less. And she’s been talking about her challenges and showing up and just being vulnerable, being willing to share her journey for being alcohol free. I think we’re on day 36 is it? And how she shows up with her Fresca drink and all the beautiful ways in which she inspires us.

Do you know that when you show up as authentic as yourself and you talk about what you’re experiencing, that you become this beacon of light for others? And it’s not only me that’s noticing. I mean if you’re in the Facebook group you notice all the women talking about how just even in a short period of time in the 30+ days she’s been being alcohol free that she looks so radiant. You could tell in her skin. You could see in her smile. You can just see her demeanor is just emulating light and energy as she continues to do this journey.

People are commenting that she looks like she lost weight and she mentioned she lost weight in the process. And it’s just so beautiful to watch. And here’s what I love. It’s so inspiring to other women because I know we could be faced with fear about cutting back and what will that look like and how will I do this? So, Bridget just a special thank you for your courage and your willingness to show up as you are. And not letting fear, or shame, or anything hold you back from authentically sharing your journey. And we so look forward to your posts every day.

If you’re not inside our private Facebook page where we can share authentically and support one another please come join us and you can follow along on other people’s journey. It’s just so fun to watch people’s transformation and know that if it’s possible for them it’s possible for you. And that’s what this journey is all about, drinking less or maybe not drinking at all.

We really want to transform our mind where it really no longer thinks about alcohol, where we can become that person that just truly doesn’t want it. We truly don’t think about it, it’s not on our mind. And it’s no longer an object of our desire. And when you get to that place with changing your relationship with alcohol it truly feels amazing.

But here’s the thing we may want that but what gets in our way of getting it? And that’s the topic I want to address on today’s podcast. Because if I was to boil it down to one thing that I think that gets in the way of us actually achieving the relationship we want with alcohol it’s one thing. And that one thing I call it fear.

So I just want to preface it that this is one thing that gets in the way of our transformation. It gets in the way to what we think we can achieve. It gets in the way of us actually achieving it because if I’m thinking about drinking less, a lot comes up for me. How will I have fun? How will I relax at the end of the day? What will I do when I’m lonely? What will I do to celebrate? What will I do when I hang out with my husband? What will I do when I hang out with my girl friends once this Covid thing is over? My brain is like what will I do? What will I do? What will I do?

And I really think that’s a sign of fear. Now, it’s interesting when I am coaching women or talking with women about their relationship with the drinking and what’s preventing them from cutting back. And if I mention fear a lot of women might say, “No, I don’t feel fear. That’s not exactly the vibration that’s going on in my body.” And what I find a lot of people will use instead of fear is the word ‘anxiety’. “I’m just anxious. What will I do? How will I respond? How will I act?” And they think that is not really fear but more anxiety.

So what I think would really help us in this topic and breaking it down is really looking at the textbook definition of fear. So when we look at fear it says it’s an emotion. That part we know, it is an emotion in our body. It’s a feeling. And that is induced by perceived danger or a threat which causes physiological changes and ultimately behavioral changes. Fear is closely related to the emotion of anxiety which is perceived as uncontrollable or unavoidable. So notice that’s a long definition and I want to break down some of the parts.

So first we’ve heard that from this definition, fear mimics anxiety a lot. And what I think is interesting is that many of us have felt more anxious in this past year, whether it’s Covid, or the shootings, or the attacks and all that’s happening out in the world. I think we’ve had a heightened fear and anxiety response to that.

Now, to look at the research on this, if we look at what the National Institutes of Mental Health say about anxiety is that it’s the most common mental illness in the United States affecting up to 40 million adults in the US ages 18 and older and roughly 18 to 19% of the population every year. And that doesn’t include last year. So when one senses fear or anxiety I just want to say that that is a pretty common emotion, especially for those of us in the United States.

So another part of the definition I want to pull out is not that only fear mimics anxiety closely, is that fear is induced by perceived danger or a threat. And so this is our survival brain. We know that we have that brain that was always seeking for danger so that we survived. We had to look for predators like tigers, and people chasing us and hunting us and all that so that we can stay alive back in the day. Now with modern times we don’t have those same perceived threats at least not to the extent we did in the past.

And a lot of our perceived threats aren’t in the physical realm as much anymore. I would say most of our perceived threats happen in the mental realm. We are fear of being left out, fear of not being a member of the tribe. So that may get triggered or provoked as we look at social media, or Facebook, or Instagram and notice that my friends are doing this and I’m not that. Or I post something and it doesn’t have as many likes or my family’s doing this and I’m thinking differently.

So there’s a lot of that fear or that I’m not part of the group because I’m not doing it the same way, which is really interesting because that’s really the mind’s story, is if we fit in or we don’t. That’s not actually the truth. That’s just the narrative we are painting around that but yet we are still part of the clan. I just find it interesting in these modern times how our primitive brain is now modifying that definition of perceived threat or danger to include things that really can’t harm us, like our number of likes or not posting on social media, or anything about the stories.

And it’s not even just social media. It’s things out in the world too, if they didn’t say the right thing or we didn’t get the right response. Our brain is making that into more of a perceived threat causing us fear. So thinking a coworker doesn’t like you, or you’re on the outs of your company, or you just can’t connect with people like you used to be able to do because now everybody’s over Zoom rather than in the company, and in the presence of one another. All of this can create more anxiety and more fear. And this leads to those physiologic changes.

If we have anxiety or we have fear, we notice our hearts race more or we start to sweat, or some of us have a more exaggerated response where we might actually start to shake, or you start rapidly breathing. All of this is based on that response. So these physiologic changes are created because of the emotion. And so ultimately it leads to behavioral changes like maybe this becomes super uncomfortable so you drink more than you want to be able to calm down or to wind down that elevated response.

And another part of this definition I really like is that it gives us really a clear picture of how our feelings are creating the vibrations in our bodies, that feeling and that’s leading to us taking action. And some of us in this past year can’t deal with the amount of anxiety or increased fear, or what have you happening in the body, that people are turning to drinking more. They are overdrinking more. And so I’d just like to point this out because it really goes into what I teach on this podcast is that our thoughts create our feelings, and our feelings create our actions.

So we see clearly from this definition that our feelings absolutely cause behavioral change or cause our actions to happen. And the more inundated we get with information, or knowledge, or call it what you want, data, news, the more we’re going to start to think about ourselves and how we fit into that. Am I a Keto person, am I doing Paleo diet, or am I doing my diet wrong? The more information we get about what works for other people we start assimilating that and how do we want that to fit in our life or don’t we want it to fit in our life?

So all this information can lead to more of questions, what do I do? How do I do it? Am I doing it right? Am I following the right diet? We can really become obsessed with the amount of data that’s coming in. And I see people do this with cutting back on drinking or evaluating their relationship with alcohol. They’re thinking, gosh, I just don’t know how to do it. I can’t seem to do it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I will calm down at the end of the day. Or I don’t know what I’ll do with myself because I’m lonely or bored.

Or I don’t even know if I’d like my life, or my kids, or my spouse if I drank less because right now it’s helping me tolerate my life. And maybe I don’t know how I’ll bond with my husband because he likes to drink and I think that’s connecting us on the weekends or sometimes during the week. And so what will I do for that connection time? What will I do to bond with him? And this is the only thing we have to look forward to during these times. So I hear a lot of this, I don’t know space, this I can’t understand what it’s going to look like space. That’s what I call that brain space.

And all is I think it really is, is our brain’s way of saying, I’m afraid. I have fear because I don’t know what to expect if I change because I just really don’t know. And we like to think we are confused over this. But what I want to offer is I think it’s more fear based because if we’re just willing to accept let me be confused until I figure it out, and let me try to figure that out. That’s more or less being confused like I don’t know how to do this math problem, let me try again, let me try again.

But I find that it’s not really confusion because with confusion you believe you have the capability so you just try again. I think it’s more fear because with fear what you’re identifying with is maybe I don’t have the capability so why even try? And that’s why I feel now we have developed this heightened sense of fear especially in this past year. And if we’ve turned to alcohol to relieve that for us we are actually perpetuating that fear cycle because we’re letting fear block us from changing that relationship because that relationship seems to help with our fear. So it’s a very complicated cycle.

So here’s what I find when people get in that cycle is they don’t even think they have fear. What they do is they start blaming the habit, they start blaming the alcohol, they start blaming the trigger, they start blaming Covid, they blame the kids, their life, their stress, their genetics. Or they just say, “I’m weak and I can’t do it.” They start blaming these things rather than saying, “Wait, maybe it’s just this emotion that’s blocking me. It’s none of those things.”

And I really want to tell you, I really think it’s the emotion blocking you. I don’t think it’s any of those things. Because we know not all of those things cause other people to over-drink. And listen, you know what? The research – no, I don’t like how strong that came out. So here’s where I think the fear gets tricky, it’s blocking us from getting what we truly want.

And research shows that we spend a lot of our time dreading what’s going to happen when the actual event is never as bad as we think it’s going to be. And most of the time the event that we’re anticipating is a good event but our mind changes it to a bad one because of the fear. Let’s take this out of the context of overdrinking.

Let’s say we’re very excited about a wedding, maybe it’s our wedding, maybe it’s our kids’ wedding, we’re very excited about the wedding. And if you’ve ever planned your own wedding or got married, it’s exciting. But what creeps in? It creeps in the fear, maybe everybody won’t be happy. Maybe I’ll trip in these shoes. Maybe I’ll stumble over my dress. Maybe the cake will fall over. We start anticipating all these fear thoughts that rob us from actually enjoying the process. And usually once we get to the day and we get over those jitters, it turns out to be this beautiful event.

But what robbed us from enjoying it beforehand was the fear. And I think, and I haven’t research this, I think the older we get the more fear we develop.

I wouldn’t say that’s true for everybody but on a general blanketed level, if you look at when kids come into this world, they’re pretty fearless. They try everything. They turn couches into jumping things, things that aren’t toys, they explore pots and pans and silverware. Some of them get into the knives. They are thinking everything’s a toy. They’re just here to explore, they’re here to learn. And it’s not that they don’t have fear, they just haven’t learned about fear. So they have little compared to as you age and you have experiences, I think your fear develops.

So if you think about the little ones, they turn everything into a game, everything’s about exploring. And if they’re really little, everything that they explore goes into their mouth. Well, as they age, as you become your tweens, and your teens, and maybe going off to college, I know those years for me I was invincible. I mean I had fear but I still wanted to embrace it and, learn new things, and evolve, and understand the world on a deeper level. And I didn’t really pay attention to as much of the dangers.

So I remember me growing up in a very small town in Pennsylvania. I wanted to go away to a big city to get my education. So I found a pharmacy school that I loved in Philadelphia, I wanted to go there. And my parents couldn’t wrap their head around it. They were like, “Oh my gosh, it’s a big city, you’re a small town girl, there’s lots of danger there. There’s lots of things that could get in trouble, you might not be well prepared because you didn’t grow up that way.” And of course I get their point of view.

Yes, of course there’s danger, there’s danger everywhere really. But to me I was so excited about public transportation, and the subway system, and different types of food, and the diversity. All of that, that I didn’t yet experience in life. So I was super attracted to the energy, I was super attracted to the diversity. And I was super attracted to going there to explore and to learn. And I gave up a scholarship to go there. I didn’t want to stay in the small town. I wanted to go out into the big world. That was important to me.

And I remember my parents thinking that my head wasn’t screwed on straight like, “Are you giving up money? What are you doing? There’s danger and this is safe over here, plus they’re throwing money at you.” This is a no brainer to them. And it’s funny because I saw it as this is a no brainer to me, why can’t you see it the way I see it?

And then this trend for me just continued because then once I graduated I went on to do two residences in two different cities, two different types of experiences. And it was very intriguing to me. Yes, I had fear, but it didn’t stop me. I still wanted to learn, explore and I welcomed the change. After my residences were done I was California bound, I was like, “That’s it, I want to go live in California.” I didn’t know a soul here. I didn’t know one single person. I just knew once I visited here, a few years before that I was like, “I love California. I want to live there.”

So I came out here, I found my apartment back when I was living in St. Louis online, rented it, site unseen, had no idea what I was going to walk into, hopefully there wasn’t cockroaches everywhere. But I just came out, had the moving company. Moved everything out for me, didn’t know a soul. And yes, I had fear but it didn’t stop me. And it’s not like bad things didn’t happen to me along the way. We won’t go into those stories on this podcast but it’s not like it was smooth sailing. But to me it was important to keep growing, to keep learning and to keep figuring it out.

Now, other people in my life including my parents thought I was nuts. But I didn’t let that fear stop me. It’s not to say I didn’t have it. And it’s not to say that I escaped all danger. But here’s the thing, now I’m a parent. Now I’m in my mid 40s and I see my 10 year old daughter and guess where my brain is already going? Oh my gosh, if she goes away to a big city, away way far from me I might have more fear for her than I had for myself. And I hear a lot of parents talking about that.

We fear for our children even though that doesn’t help them at all. Even though it’s their life, not ours, even though we know that life experience is the best experience for them and they have to experience it for themselves and it has to be their own journey. But man, that fear can be gripping for us. And here’s what I think is happening. As you have more experience you’re more knowledgeable. As you read the news you get inundated with how you can be harmed out in the world all the different ways even if it didn’t happen to you and we learn to fear.

And here’s another thing, I think we start calling fear bad. I think we think all fear is bad. But the truth is fear is just an emotion and it’s part of the human experience, it will be there. It was there when we were younger and it’s there when we are older. But the key is, when to know to go into the fear because on the other side it’s what you want or when the risk of going into that fear really doesn’t produce a result that you want. So it’s like saying some fear and embracing that fear and going on to do things is good.

Now, I know I’ve shared this on previous podcasts. I had such fear of starting this podcast. I wanted to do it for months before I got up enough courage to actually record my first podcast. I had all these limiting beliefs about myself, that I don’t speak well, and that I stutter, and that when I talk I can’t always find the right words so I might sound dumb and uneducated. I had all these fears about starting this but yet deep in my soul it’s what I wanted. I wanted to reach more women. I wanted women to know that they don’t have to suffer in silence.

I wanted women to know that alcohol doesn’t have to keep them trapped and that there are ways of cutting back or stopping. And that journey can look unique and different for every one of us, it’s not a one size fits all model. It was burning in my soul. I think I’ve shared with you that I had dreams about it. I had a dream that I died and my biggest regret was I never started this podcast.

And I woke up that morning and I literally had physical tears running down my cheeks. And I said, “Oh my gosh, if that is not a sign that I need to embrace this fear, and go out and help the women this is meant to help, my golly, Sherry, get over yourself. Get over those limiting beliefs.” And that fear just kept buzzing and that anxiety just kept buzzing. It was like start the podcast. And then, no, the limiting beliefs are keeping you trapped. And start the podcast. And no, this emotion feels so uncomfortable.

I couldn’t feel at my peace with my relationship with not having a podcast. Just like women tell me, I’m so not at peace with my overdrinking. I’m so not at peace with my relationship with alcohol. And I so understand but yet you have to take action. You have to embrace that fear just like I had to embrace the fear of starting the podcast. I had to run the risk of not finding the right words, of whatever else my limiting beliefs were. Because if you don’t, you don’t grow, you don’t evolve and you don’t change. It’s like you live smaller than what you feel you were meant for.

And I see this come up a lot of times. It comes up for all of us. And I see this with people wanting to join my Drink Less Lifestyle coaching program. They want the help. They want that transformation. And yet they’re so afraid, they’re so scared. They’re like, “What if I do another thing and it doesn’t work? I’m so nervous to start this journey, what if it turns out I am an alcoholic?” They have all these fears inside. And I get it, I had them too. I had the same questions that the ladies have when they enter my program.

And if you’re in that space I just want you to know that that’s fear talking, it’s not your true essence. And there’s no way to get around the fear at all. You have to embrace it and carry it with you. And here’s how I like to think of fear now. It’s not necessarily a warning sign that this isn’t right for me. It’s actually maybe a sign that it is right for me because I need to change, and grow, and evolve, and learn, and trust in my capabilities. And trust in myself that I can learn new things. That I can change so that I get the lifestyle that I truly want.

So I say open yourself up to the fear. It has to be part of the process because if you don’t open up to it, it’s only going to block you. It’s going to block you from that life that you really want to be living. And that’s what I’ve really learned particularly in this last year of doing my business and doing life because I’ve noticed fear coming up more and more because I want to grow and evolve quicker and quicker. I mean my business has really taken off in these past eight months. And now I see fear as not a red light, it’s not a stop sign, it’s does mean stop, halt, go back, turn around.

I see fear as a green light, as a sign to mean go, this is what you really want. Put yourself out there. What’s on the other side of this fear, that’s what you get to look forward to. Can I just quickly share with you how many emails I get from men and women how this podcast alone has transformed the way they look at alcohol.

Can I tell you the number of people in my Facebook page that reach out to me on a personal level and say just that Facebook page alone has helped them evaluate their relationship with alcohol differently? And how it’s really started their transformation process, even if they’re not at their end goal but how this has really served them in a way that they haven’t been able to hear it before. How they haven’t recognized that this is a relationship that they get to create, not one that’s just given to them by their genes, or their family members, or their habits.

Or that they believed that they had no self-control and that they are doomed for life, that the next 10, 20 years would look the same as this past year. They don’t have those limiting beliefs anymore. And that means the world to me when I can encourage women and men to change their wiring, to change the way their brain thinks about alcohol so they no longer desire it. So it’s no longer controlling them but that they are in control of it.

And listen my friends, I wouldn’t have been able to help as many women if I didn’t step out of my own fear, embrace the fear and use it as a green light to keep going. And if you keep having that same fear, fear of cutting back, fear of living a drink less lifestyle, fear of what that will look like just know that that fear causes that physiologic response in your body.

You’re going to feel on edge at the end of the day. You’re going to feel more anxious prone. Part of that’s the alcohol, part of that’s your relationship to the alcohol, the relationship that’s in your mind. So it’s not like the fear is just going to go away. So sometimes fear is a marker telling us we want something different than what we’re actually experiencing. So notice where your fear is coming from.

If your fear is coming from I can’t do this, or I can’t change, or I can’t learn how to rewire my brain, or how to change my relationship with alcohol. I just want you to know that this type of thinking will only intensify the fear. It’s actually feeding the fear. So we can feed the fear monster. But I don’t think many of us want to keep feeding that monster. And when you feed the monster, guess who’s in charge? The monster.

And of course fear feels so big and this big old bully in your head. And of course you’re going to want to say, “Yeah, that sounds like a stop sign to me. That’s a big red light. Let’s not go into the fear.” But the more we allow the fear and feed it. We’re going to be intensifying that. So instead why don’t we consider that fear means you have something new to learn? Fear is something you need to embrace in order to get to the next evolution of yourself.

What if we are to go into that child or teen like version of ourselves where yeah, there’s some fear but we’re going to do it anyway? It’s like that book, Feel the Fear and do it Anyway. It’s such a great book. I read that years ago and I loved it. So now I consider fear a necessary emotion for growth. It’s like riding your first rollercoaster or riding a rollercoaster again if you have fear of heights or whatever. But it’s so exhilarating and so fun and you’re safe on the other side.

And here’s what also research shows about our brain is that we fear loss more than we appreciate gains. So we’re going to fear losing what is rather than opening our mind to what’s about to come. So we’re going to fear walking away from alcohol more than the brain will appreciate all the joy that’s to come from living a healthier lifestyle. So that’s beforehand. That’s exactly what the brain experiences. However when you go through the experience of drinking less and enjoying those joys that are to come, you’ll find you’re actually happier on the other side.

So that fear is actually not even accurate to what actually happens. Now, that is fascinating because you know what that tells me? Our brain is not a very good predictor of how we’re going to feel in the future. I find it’s just the brain’s reaction to change. We’re going to be changing so the brain goes into fear panic mode. It’s like how are we going to do this? How is this going to happen? What’s life going to be like?

It’s almost like we have to figure it all out in the instant that we think we’re going to start the change process. It’s like no, no, we’re just going to take it one small step at a time and brain trust me, we’ll figure it out as we get there. We don’t have to worry about Friday if it’s only Wednesday. Let’s just worry about Wednesday, let’s get through Wednesday and we will worry about Friday when Friday comes.

But the brain wants it all figured out, it wants it mapped out because it starts freaking out and it thinks if it knows what to expect that it’ll feel more calm in the moment. So we can give it what it expects or we can just say we’re just guessing what we’re going to feel like on Friday because maybe Friday I won’t have desire for a drink. Maybe it won’t be hard. Why am I telling myself it’s going to be hard on a Wednesday if it’s not going to be hard when I get there? How am I to know that I can predict the future? Because I don’t think I can.

So now I just think of fear as part of the change process. It means most of the time I’m going in the right direction. So you feel the fear and you don’t let it stop you. You feel the fear and know that it’s part of the journey. You feel the fear and you do it anyway because here’s what happens if you don’t. You keep doing the same things expecting different results. And I want to tell you that new results only come from taking new actions.

And new action means that you require changing the meaning you have about fear. It’s not wrong. It’s not bad. And it may not be a warning sign to stop. And also note that you can’t have courage in the absence of fear otherwise that wouldn’t be courage.

So my beautiful friends what is the antidote for fear for when those feelings of fear or anxiety come up? It’s courage, it’s knowing that you eventually will change. It’s knowing that you eventually will gain control. It’s knowing that you will gain confidence around alcohol. And that is having courage to embrace your fear and to do it anyway. When you choose fear and you keep going, you’ve now entered into that process of being courageous. And when you start taking these steps and you’re acting with more courage you will create different emotions in your body.

The fear response will start to diminish and you will feel more aligned with who you really want to be, living the life you really want to be living. And if you don’t embrace the fear guess what happens? That fear grows like a monster and starts to turn into more fear, more anxiety, more dread, more frustration because you’re not getting closer to the goal that you want. And then you start feeling very stuck. And my friends, you can spend years and decades here.

But guess what also can be true with fear? When you meet fear with courage that morphs into capabilities, which develops into more confidence which then morphs into growth and permanent change, changes that you want. We talk about this fear in my Drink Less Lifestyle program, especially in the beginning fear comes up.

And here’s what I ask them to do. I ask them to do this exercise so you may want to do this for you. I ask them to list out all their fears, all of them because we have to know what’s holding us back. And when they do that work and they begin to see the narrative they have around fear, and how it’s not leading them to get the relationship with alcohol that they want, do you know what happens? They start changing the way they think about fear. They start looking at that list of things and they start saying, “That’s where I’m being blocked.”

It’s like they analyze the list and some of the things that may be on the list may be not being able to relax at the end of the day. Or I have fear of what my friends will think. Or again that connection with their spouse at the end of the day, how will that happen? What will their hobbies be if their hobby has always been around alcohol?

Or here’s another common one for the women in my group is what will I do then, will I satisfy the sugar craving with food? Will I tend to overeat now that I’m not drinking? So do this exercise for you because I think it’s very telling. It shows you exactly what is holding you back. And I’ll put a link in the show notes if you want this little exercise that we do in my program, I will link it in the show notes to this podcast. And one thing I love about this exercise is when you get out on paper it’s when it becomes crystal clear to you about what is blocking you from getting to your goal.

And as you’re going along in your goal and you revisit this worksheet and you revisit this list you’ll find that most of these things never actually came true. So I like to call them our smokescreens. They’re just smoke being blown out by our brain thinking that these are the real issues when they’re not.

These are smokescreens that are keeping us from getting our truest life, our best life, our most aligned life where we feel amazing, joyful and good because here’s what the ladies report in the group, “I’m not turning to food.” “I love my husband even more.” “We found additional ways to connect that feel even better.” Just the things that actually evolve are nothing that our brain predicted in the beginning. Our brain couldn’t. Our brain couldn’t see another way. It was trapped in its fear based mentality.

So that’s what I want to offer to you today my friends is that fear can just be a smokescreen and we can use it as a green light to move forward with it, to embrace it and also to embrace courage. And that we can even consider fear a good thing. It’s time, it means we want change. It means we want what’s on the other side of that change and we just have to go through the process and develop capabilities to get there.

Alright my friends, that’s what I have for you today and I will see you next week.

Thanks for listening to Drink Less Lifestyle. If you’re ready to change your relationship with drinking now check out the free guide, How to Effectively Break the Overdrinking Habit at sherryprice.com/startnow. See you next week.

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