Ep #66: Creating Closure

By: Dr. Sherry Price
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Drink Less Lifestyle with Dr. Sherry Price | Creating Closure

  • How quickly can you shed your old self, your old habits, and old patterns that aren’t working for you anymore? Leaving things in the past helps us heal and be able to make space for new changes and habits to take hold.

    That’s exactly what we’re doing in this episode.

    As we’re wrapping up the year, I’m sharing a practice that has helped me create closure on things I’m ready to leave behind. This allows for quicker progress, transformation, and building better habits in the new year.

     

    Are you wanting to drink less and learn control over alcohol? If so, I invite you to join Drink Less Lifestyle. It’s where you learn how to become a woman who can take it or leave it, love your life, and be healthy again. Join Drink Less Lifestyle here!

     

    What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

    • Acknowledging what you’ve achieved to prepare yourself for creating closure.
    • Identifying what you need to create closure around.
    • My process for wrapping up 2021 and creating closure on this year, and how you can do the same.

     

    Featured on the Show:

    Download my free guide How to Effectively Break the Overdrinking Habit.

    If you’re loving this podcast, please rate and review this podcast and help others discover their Drink Less Lifestyle.

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Drink Less Lifestyle Podcast with Dr. Sherry Price, episode number 66.

Welcome to Drink Less Lifestyle, a podcast for successful women who want to change their relationship with alcohol. If you want to drink less, feel healthier and start loving life again you’re in the right place. Please remember that the information in this podcast does not constitute medical advice. Now, here’s your host, Dr. Sherry Price.

Well, hello my friends. Can you believe it is the end of the year? It just shocks me how fast the year has gone. Has it gone fast for you? Well, as we’re wrapping up the year, I want to share with you a practice that I have found that really helps me create closure on things that are ready to be created closure on. And creating this closure helps me get quicker progress, transformation and move on to build better habits.

So this is a practice that I discovered and I really have to say it has transformed how quickly I can shed an old self, an old habit, an old pattern or an old way that just isn’t working for me or my life. And it’s allowed me to transition quicker to pick up a new self, a new image, if you will, or a new habit or pattern that I want to create. And I like to talk about it as I’m tying a bow around something in the past, wrapping it up and just sending it on its way.

This thing that I’m sending on its way it’s just not meaningful to my life anymore and I’m ready to part ways. And when I do this practice, it really allows me to see things as they really are and making the space to allow things that I want to come in. So I love this practice because it’s recognizing what has been and what’s not serving me now and where I want to go.

And as I mentioned it’s really allowed me to process, say goodbye to old habits, old ways and old patterns of belief so that I can make space for new things in my life. Now, this is some of the amazing work that the ladies and I will be doing at my February retreat. I’m super excited to meet the women coming and I know many of the women I’ve known for a long time. And I just can’t wait to see them in person, give hugs and some of the women will be new to me. And I will be creating this transformational experience for every woman at that retreat.

So to begin this work I want you to know we just don’t dive right in to creating closure. We don’t want to start there. I find it’s much more valuable to get your mind and your body more prepped, more prepared to start this work and to recount things that you’ve actually accomplished, things that you’re proud of, things that were meaningful to you or you’ve made meaningful strides in your life. So that’s where we’re going to first begin this work. And as I’m taking you through the steps I will be sharing with you an example of how I just used this in my own life.

And I love to create closure around things, it just gives me peace to let go of something. So I love to create closure around my quarters, if I’m working in my business. I like to create closure to the end of the year and wishing well the end of the year so I can welcome a new year in. Or maybe I need to create closure around a habit, or a person, or a relationship that has ended. And I’ve found that this process just helps me get that transformation much quicker.

So as I’m walking you through the process, I will be sharing with you some of the details about how I’m wrapping up this year and I’m creating closure around this year. So as I mentioned, we want to start off looking at all the areas where we made significant accomplishments, whether that be significant strides in getting to a goal that we have, whether that’s areas that we’re proud of, whether that’s things that we see in our life that we’re just thrilled by.

So as I started this exercise for me I wrote down these accomplishments and the areas where I’m most proud. And I find it’s really beneficial if you make yourself do a list. So that could be 10 items, that could be 15, that could be 20. I find that the longer the timespan the longer the list should be. But you want to shoot for at least 10. So as I’m reflecting back on the entire last year I made a list of all these accomplishments that I am so proud of. I looked at the entire year starting in January and I just started listing off everything that I’ve achieved, or that’s improved that I am super proud of.

So I’ll just share some of those with you. One being we started our kitchen remodel at the beginning of this year. I know I’ve talked about that on the podcast. And I’ve been wanting to do this kitchen remodel since 2016. Started out, when we talked about it my husband and I couldn’t agree on a design that we wanted. We were at odds at some of the details that would go into place and what exactly would be upgraded, and how things would change, and what appliances.

And I won’t go into all the details about how we did come to an agreement and move forward. But I was delighted to move forward on this project and get it done. So as I’m reflecting on our new kitchen I am just thrilled that it functions better to entertain people. It’s just a cozy environment when people come over. There is lots of counter space which is really the main goal of why I wanted to remodel it. It’s inviting. It feels good. We picked colors that delight me and delight us.

And I notice it makes me want to hang out in that space more, create more memories. So it’s been a goal for about five years and I’m so glad we accomplished that this year.

Another big accomplishment this year was this ultra, super romantic luxury trip that my husband and I took to the Amalfi Coast. It was amazing. We wanted to create this amazing experience and we did and we had so much fun.

Another thing I’m proud of this year is that I have helped my daughter take ownership and do so much better in school. I have learned how to communicate better with her. I have learned how to coach her and actually get to the root cause of her reason she wasn’t performing well in school. And knowing that she wasn’t really motivated because she didn’t really see the reason to do well in school at this age in this grade. And also realizing that motivating her was not through punishment because that never worked or it just worked temporarily.

So I love it that I was able to communicate in a language that she understood about why school is important at this age for her, and then give her a path to follow so she can get progress quickly. And I couldn’t be more pleased, she comes home from school, sits down at the kitchen counter, opens up her backpack and immediately starts doing her homework. This never happened in the past ever. I would have to follow her around nagging, which never worked. I’d have to take away privileges, which really eroded our relationship even further.

And I’m so glad that now she sees how her contribution now makes a difference.

Another thing on my list is that she made the All-Star soccer team and accepted the offer. When she was originally presented with the offer she declined because she didn’t have a lot of self-confidence. When she’s initially offered things that are new, her anxiety and her fear take over. But this time I was able to coach her through this, see how this can be a growth opportunity for her. And she’s been playing in the tournaments and she’s been doing so well, so well, the team is doing amazing. So proud that her confidence is starting to increase.

Another fun thing and an accomplishment that happened this year was I was on the cover of a magazine. What? That’s just crazy, isn’t it? To be on the cover of a magazine, me, really? So exciting. I have to say that was crazy fun. And my story is helping so many women get over their guilt, and their shame and just to stop feeling powerless around alcohol because you can be in your power.

Another big thing I have accomplished this year is I’m over one year in into podcasting. And thank you to all of you my dear listeners, many of you reach out and email me, and message me and letting me know the value you are receiving in these episodes, and how they’re transforming how you think and feel about alcohol, and how powerful you now feel in your choice. And I am touched because there are some truly miraculous stories that I read. It’s not just about the alcohol.

I’m reading things about new jobs, new careers, losing weight, better sleep better connection with their kids and their husband and just the freedom and peace you’re able to experience. It’s truly a blessing and a gift to do these podcasts and to hear how much they have helped so many women and men. I get emails from men too that these podcasts are helping men as well, so awesome.

Alright, another thing that I am so proud of is that I have actually healed a trauma in my life this year. I had a small trauma, I wouldn’t call it a big T trauma, but a little T trauma that happened to me in 2018 and 19. And I was carrying around emotional baggage from it. It was wearing on me. It was in my thoughts. It was in my emotions. I was hanging on to it with my body. I just felt this weight that I was carrying around. And now it’s completely healed, it’s gone. And I am free in that area of my life again. I have lost that emotional weight.

And I could go on and on but there is just one more I will share from my list that I have made, is that I have finally found a medicine that helps my eczema. I have had eczema on my lower legs for most of my adult life, tried every medication under the sun, changing my diet, taking out dairy, doing all the things that are recommended. But I would just keep itching, and itching, and itching, it was uncontrollably. I would even itch in my sleep until I would bleed. And I wasn’t even aware I was scratching my legs while I was sleeping. And so this medication has decreased the itching by over 95%.

Now, I still have the rash but the itching has dramatically gone down. And I just feel so thankful that I kept searching and this new medication came about. And actually I was really resistant to trying it until my doctor talked me into it. And I’m like, “You’re right, I shouldn’t just give up just because the other 1900 drugs haven’t worked.” And I’m exaggerating just a bit.

So there are so many other things that I wrote down in my journal. I just wanted to give you a snapshot of how I apply this to my life. And now that you go through that you want to pick another area of your life and focus on the positive things. So this could be a gratitude list, an appreciation list. I just went through my accomplishment list. You can go through a list of things that bring you joy or maybe times that you’ve experienced courage or kindness.

So the next area I did this year was not to go into things I was grateful for and appreciative of. But now I went into 10 things that I have learned this past year. Now, I’m going to tell you some of these 10 things that I have wrote down. But I want you to know that it’s not like I didn’t know this before. I even allowed things onto the list where I’m like, “Yeah, I knew that before but this year it feels more true to me.” It’s just not intellectual knowledge, I feel it deeper. It’s almost in my bones. It’s like, yes, I’ve been hearing this a long time but now I’m able to experience it on a deeper level.

Sometimes you hear things and you’re like, “Yeah, that makes sense, yeah.” But they’re just words. Well, some of my learnings went from just being words to there is the truth I’ve been waiting to feel and experience. So some of my learnings are that number one, I enjoy working. I enjoy doing work. Now, I have to be careful because that could be overworking. So I have to put parameters around that where I don’t overwork. But I do enjoy working.

And I also realized that my husband enjoys working too. He was off of work for a few months. And I saw how it weighed on him. I think humans love to contribute in a meaningful way. And doing meaningful work is amazing. Think about the work you do, you get to be proud of that. And not only do I like to be proud of it, I like to own it. I think a lot of us can grumble and say, “Oh work, oh work, oh work.” And it’s not to say you’re going to enjoy every last detail of your job. But to have a job, to do meaningful work is a great thing.

Okay, so the next one ties into something that I accomplished but it was a new learning for me. I didn’t know that what I experienced in 2018 and 19 was a trauma. I kind of had an idea but I didn’t really know I was still carrying around emotional baggage. It wasn’t until my coach saw it during one of our coaching sessions and she pointed it out. And then she helped me heal through it. It was fascinating because I think our brains like to hide things in the past and they just don’t want to confront them because it feels like it’s keeping us safe and protected if we don’t think about it.

So I just put it out of my mind. But when it came up during one of our coaching sessions and we were trying to find why it is I thought the way I was thinking, it came back to the trauma, the little trauma I had experienced. And then when I healed that I really felt feel this huge emotional weight has been lifted off me. I was wondering why I kept beating my head against the wall to try to get results in this area and I wasn’t. It’s because I was carrying around that emotional baggage.

This helped me so much that I’m like, “I need to do this for other women.” We’re carrying around emotional baggage that’s blocking us from getting to our dreams and our goals. And this is the work we will be doing at the retreat. So transformative.

Alright, number three, a big learning for me was there are very few rules I actually have to follow. As an adult I get to make my own rules about a lot of stuff, if I eat, when I eat, how much I eat. And it doesn’t even have to be around eating or alcohol. It could be around so many other things. I realized that I put more rules on myself that really don’t need to be there, especially the rules I put on myself that keep me small and kind of suffering, it’s like, I have to do this. I don’t have to do a lot of things.

And it’s just so interesting to me because I’ll see how society is doing it or how other people do it and I think I have to match that. And it’s like, wait a second, no, those are their rules, those are their fashion trends, or that’s the way they do things, or throw parties, or do whatever. But I get to do it my way. And so all these things that felt obligatory really were just obligations I was putting on myself. It’s so funny to recognize that and free myself of some of these ‘obligatory’ things. So I love creating my own rules, rules that feel good to me and give me the lifestyle, and the health, and the vitality that I want.

Number four is something I tell my clients all the time but sometimes I recognize to see it in my own life is that I have a way more power than I think. And I do point this out to my clients all the time, how they leave their power behind, or they give it away, or don’t even recognize that they have power in a situation. And so I look back and there are some key areas where I was leaving my power behind and not really realizing I had it in the first place.

And how I define power is you getting the life that you want, you creating the results that you want. It’s a good thing, it’s a positive energy. And when I am in my positive energy and I’m creating positive results, do you know how contagious that is for my family members and the people I surround myself with? Very contagious, because who doesn’t want positive results in their life? We all know who shows up at an event or a get together and is a wet diaper, or a Debbie downer, or the person who’s always complaining.

And I’m not saying there is a time and a place for some of that to work through it, as long as you’re willing to work through it. But some people don’t choose to work through it, they just choose to stay stuck in it. And if you choose to stay stuck in it, you’re missing all of your power. I say, take the reins ladies and I’m right there with you. The world is such a better place when we bring our best selves.

And then the last one I’ll share is that I realize I have a lot of clutter in my closet. So when I cleared out some of the emotional clutter I started to recognize there are things in my space that feel too much, I don’t use it. I don’t want it. It’s outdated. It doesn’t serve me. That’s not the woman I want to be in the future.

And so I have been shedding some of the physical things and some of the things in my closet because they’re just not who I want to be anymore. Or I even bought them for the wrong reason, like they were on sale or I was bored and so I just needed to be entertained by a dopamine hit, a dopamine rush, let’s buy this shirt. And I’m just not wearing it, the tags are still on.

So it’s time to clear the clutter out of my closet and the things aren’t serving me so that I could just focus on what does light me up, what does bring me joy, what does bring me pleasure and happiness and reflect the woman I want to be.

So those are just some of the things that I have on my list. And then now we can transition to part three which is now creating closure. So before I go into this process just notice that we don’t start here. And the reason is if you focus on what you don’t want in your life anymore, without recognizing all the amazing things to your life that you love, that you’re proud of, that you’ve learned throughout the year or whatever time period you’re working on. You tend to get in a negative spin, in a negative stance and you bring up all the things that aren’t working and how you haven’t made progress.

And it gets harder to wish something away or leave something behind when you’re in that negative energy. If your emotions are not in alignment with how you’re thinking, meaning you’re not excited to shed that portion of you, it will be so hard to shed that portion of you or shift away from those bad habits or those things that are no longer serving you. So you don’t want to start here. You want to do step one and step two first. You want to get into that energy of noticing all the change you have created.

So notice how I’m even speaking about it. From the lists and the journaling that I have shared with you, I have created this emotional and mental connection that I have achieved many meaningful and worthwhile things. I am jazzed to talk about them. And I didn’t even share with you 50% of what I wrote. This is just a small portion of everything I poured out. And I love it because as I’m looking back through my journal I see pages of evidence of how I’ve created massive change and results in my life.

I see how I’ve grown over the course of the year. I have reflected on my personal growth, my change, and how I’m evolving. I recognize how my business has evolved, how my relationships are evolving, and how change is possible and it’s actually always happening whether we realize it or not. And from this space I also see that change is natural and I want to keep changing. An object at rest tends to stay at rest, an object in motion tends to want to stay in motion and keep going. And we will always be changing and I love that.

And I want to be a powerful force to direct that change for the good in my life and for results that matter most to me. I get the opportunity to create the life I want. I get the opportunity to create the version of me, the next version of me that I want. And I get to leave behind what no longer feels relevant or good, things that are holding me back, things that are getting in the way, let’s just purge. So now we can move on to the things we want to leave behind. And so as 2021 is coming to a close I am happy to say goodbye, tie up mentally in my mind and send things on in my life.

I no longer want it as part of me. And here’s what you do when you create closure and you say goodbye to things, you move that portion or that piece of you out and you invite in different energy, different experiences, different and better thoughts and feelings, you open up space.

And so for me a big thing I have decided I want to leave behind this year is feeling like I’m not good enough, whatever flavor that comes in. Maybe I think some days I’m not smart enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not skinny enough, I’m not talkative enough, I’m not funny enough, I’m not quick witted enough, or whatever kind of not enough-ness.

I have to tell you, whenever I have that it feels gross, and defeating, and I’m leaving my power behind. So I want to say goodbye to not feeling good enough. And when I send that off on its way I allow space to create in my life where I could see that I am good enough. And what I do, and what I create in the world, and how I show up, and how I decide to contribute in the world is enough.

I saw directly from that micro trauma that I experienced, I was carrying around this not enough-ness like a heavy suitcase. It was dampening my spirit, it was weighing on the desires of my soul and it wasn’t allowing me to break through. So I’m ready for closure on this. I am ready to put down the heavy baggage. I have done the heavy lifting of removing the emotional component, now I’m doing the closure component mentally, because ladies there is so much more I want to create.

I have ideas and desires yet to be realized and I don’t want to hold back. And I cannot wait to put this all out into the world. And I’ve been working so much on this stuff and I’m going to be launching a bunch of it in the new year. And if you’re on my email list you may have already heard the news, but if you’re not, there are some major changes coming to Epic You this year. We are launching a whole new site on January 1st. It’s my life’s work to date and I’m not done.

And I am so excited to share the new version of Epic You with you. This is the place where you take your life to the next level, you stop playing small and you start acting in your power, because ladies, I’m on a mission. I’m here to create change, a movement to make the world a safer place for girls and women to walk and act in their power. We have so much goodness inside of us but it gets trapped, it’s get bogged down by emotions and limiting thoughts. And we numb it out with food and alcohol, and it keeps us playing small.

And the only reason I know this is because I did this in my life, I played small and that’s okay. I’m wrapping that up in a bow and sending it away. This year I’ll be creating so much more but not from a place of not enough-ness, but from a place of this is what the world needs and I’m equipped to provide it. I am enough, because remember, one of my key learnings this year was I was leaving my power behind and I wasn’t realizing it. I’m ready to step into it. What about you, ladies?

To walk in your power what do you have to leave behind in 2021? What’s inside you that feels like heavy baggage and luggage that’s emotionally weighing you down that you don’t want to bring into the new year? Maybe it’s an old drinking habit that’s sucking the life and energy out of you and it’s sucking your relationships dry. There is tension, there is arguments, there’s disappointment, great. Do this exercise and create closure, let it go.

Or maybe it’s 20 or 30 pounds that’s annoying you and it’s just causing you not to show up and feel like the woman you want. Maybe you’re wearing baggy clothes or hiding your body, and you’re not showing up to be loving with your spouse who’s dying to be with you. Maybe that’s holding you back, great, create closure, let it go. Or maybe it’s your words and how they pierce someone’s heart like a bow released by Katniss in the Hunger Games. I have done that and regretted it. If that no longer feels like the version of you, you want to be, great, create closure, let it go.

Ladies, you get to create closure on any part of you that you no longer want to bring forward into the new year. Shed that part of you, that you’re ready to shed, maybe you’ve been ready to shed and now it’s time. Make closure with it, make peace with it. When we close off something we make peace with it. And to create a new habit we first need to shed the old. Remember, when you close a chapter a new one opens.

And if you want my help on doing this ladies, I’d be honored to help you. Both of my programs, Drink Less Lifestyle and Epic You have been upgraded. And the changes in Epic You are coming on January 1. We’ve put how to get your off button back in so many of my other courses and products inside of Epic You. The value of Epic You is immense. And a special part is the private community of women who are so supportive and so loving on our private Epic You Facebook page and I appreciate them so much.

And I’ve been loving watching their journey and watching them step into their power. Give yourself the freedom to leave behind whatever is not serving you, leave it here in 2021 so that you can make room for your awesomeness and your epic-ness, and your new self in 2022. Have a beautiful celebration on new year my friends. I love you all. Thank you so much for listening to my podcast and for all your loving comments. And I can’t wait to see you in the new year. Cheers.

Thanks for listening to the Drink Less Lifestyle. If you’re ready to change your relationship with alcohol, check out my free guide, How to Effectively Break the Overdrinking Habit at sherryprice.com/startnow. That’s sherryprice.com/startnow. I’ll see you next week.

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